Blog #59 out of 100 in 2021

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 8 years now. We wanted to wait a couple years into marriage before trying. We wanted to be able to go out and life the couple's life for just a bit before growing our family. If we'd known we were going to struggle conceiving, we would have started immediately.

It was around year 5 that we both had to face that this might not happen for us. So, we took the normal steps in getting things checked out. He saw a doctor first. Everything was great on his end! We were so relieved. Then my dread set in. I was so afraid I would be the problem. I couldn't bear knowing that I kept my husband from being a dad.

Guess what.... nothing is wrong with me either. I had a regular checkup. All looked good. I got an internal ultrasound. Things looked great. I even had exploratory surgery as the last step. I just knew there would be cysts, endometriosis, scarring, etc. Well....... no. Nothing was wrong with me either.

We had to face the fact that we just weren't getting pregnant and there is no reason. So, we gave it to God. We decided that if we are supposed to have a baby, He would make it happen.... it hasn't though. We trust that God has a reason for everything and we have made peace in that place.

It doesn't keep certain things from hurting, though. I struggle when I hear someone I know announce a pregnancy. I can't attend baby showers. Diaper commercials bring me to tears. I think the worst part for me, though, is people being insensitive to the fact that some people might not be able to conceive.

Let me tell you this little story to show you what I mean:

A couple years ago on Valentine's Day, my husband and I decided we wanted to go on a dinner date. Unfortunately, every restaurant we attempted to get seated at had an hour plus wait time. We try to always go with the flow, though, so, we went to a local pizza place that barely had anyone inside.

As we sat down to eat our dinner, a family of 6 came in. It was a young mother and father and 4 kids that all looked to be under 10 years old. The kids were very energetic and a little loud. They weren't misbehaving at all, though. They were just being silly kids. The family ended up sitting at the table right next to ours.

Through most of the dinner, I smiled at the kids if they looked over at me and I laughed at how silly they were acting. Right before we left, the young mother turned around to me and said, "I'm so sorry about my kids being so horrible." She rolled her eyes and continued, "If you don't have any kids yet, be glad and don't have them."

I leaned toward her and replied, "So, far I haven't been able to have kids. I'd love to take yours off your hands if they are too much." Her eyes got so big as she just turned back around to her table and didn't say another word.

I understand that parenting can be super hard at times and parents are totally allowed and valid to feel their feelings......

Just remember to be sensitive to others, though..... and take time to hug and appreciate those "horrible" children 😉

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