Did you ever have a memory so who is it that the grass is so green you could smell it? The memory took you back to a happy time but you didn't want to go back to that time he didn't want to remember because it was painful to remember such a happy time? I don't know if it makes sense or not but I was remembering some happy times today that were actually painful to remember and I had toshut down those memories because it hurt too much this is part of the loss that we must suffer these are the feelings that never really did go away it's been since 2011 for me and here I am still having these feelings.