I still hold your name in my mouth after all this time  gently, of course  as if it was a pearl  and not the worthless clump of sand that it is  so that I can continue to curse it,  even in the finest lace and satin,  with ribbons of diamonds along my collarbones, bracelets of soft, congratulatory palms  on my wrists, my neck, my lower back  because it seems to me  at this point anyways that there is nothing I could wish for  I will not receive from generous hands and there is not a single thing  you could ever attain that I could not take from you  and I will, I will, I will  because it's still so much fun  and that is my key motivation  for doing anything at all.

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