The title sounds so much more dramatic than it was.

Basically my family have ignored all my wishes to be left alone. they are acting as if the whole thing has never happened. As if it was a bad dream to us and swept it all under the carpet.

Yesterday my mother sent a message detailing how she'd organised my daughter to have a birthday tea (which was news to us). That we needed to turn up at a certain time so she could share it with my sisters son (the favoured grandchild). I was offended that she was ignoring the issue and that the whole thing revokved around her having my sisters son. She wouldnt have bothered if it wasn't a childcare day. And also that she thought we wouldnt have any plans for my daughter already.

I politely refused, stating we already had plans and I meant what I said. She wasn't blocked from seeing my daughter but she had to arrange it prior to the meeting and not just turn up. I decided my boundary would be she could see her every 2weeks for a couple of hours at my house.

This was then ignored and she turned up at bath time with birthday presents for my daughter. My god mum was there and my daughter was screaming grandma so I let her in.

We made awkward polite chit chat, my daughter opened her presents and she left. I am even more mad that my wishes and boundaries are being ignored. I spoke with my husband and he has agreed if she turns up again she is going to be reminded that she cant just show up. We think they're now going away this weekend since it wasnt yesterday. So we could've gone. There was no reason not to invite us.

I feel really sad as I do love my mum. But like alcohol, I know the good times are an illusion and it is slowly poisoning me. I owe it to my daughter to protect her from the heart ache she could suffer too.

I just wish we could just move away as we literally live roads away from each other.

Before I met my husband I was actively planning to move 1.5 hours away to the country side. I spoke to an estate agent and had started to look at houses.

Then I met my husband and we are stuck due to my step daughter, well until she can drive. I accept this, but still dream of putting some distance between them so they cant just drop in.

I'm still sober which is a blessing as I can see things a lot more clearly. I'm in control of my emotions (mostly) and focusing on teacher training which I'm loving. I'm also trying out being a vegetarian and trying new recipes. I dont recognise myself anymore. But I mean this in a good way. The person I was 10 years ago would not be friends with the person I am today, they'd see me as boring. But I'm happy with voting. I'm just happy with happy.

Love

JS x

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